Mindfulness Perimenopause Personal Growth

Perimenopause and Antidepressants: Honor Your Moods

December 30, 2018

Perimenopause and Antidepressants: Honor Your Moods

You are not too much.

You are a beautiful person, who experiences different moods based upon your cycles, hormones, feelings, and stress level. Did you know that your moods are teaching you about yourself? How we feel does not define who we are. It’s simply our innate self trying to tell us something that does not feel right. If you have not read the book Moody Bitches by Dr. Julie Holland, I highly recommend it! Holland shares some incredible insight on honoring our moods as we age, antidepressant use, and our changing hormones.

Holland states that we tend to sweep a lot of ‘dust’ under the carpet, so to speak, throughout the first (2) phases of our cycle, the menstrual phase, and follicular phase. During this time our hormones are more stable, and therefore we tend to let the little things roll off our back. We stifle and shove hurtful things out of the way, and it just doesn’t seem to affect us as much. This doesn’t mean the feelings are not there, they just are not surfaced yet. This is because our hormones are more stable during these first phases of our cycle, supporting our neurotransmitters. The brain feels happier. It doesn’t mean we aren’t feeling anything. We just do a better job of pushing things away. However, after ovulation, during the luteal phase of our cycle, hormone levels drop which also impacts serotonin (the feel-good hormone) thus impacting our emotional health. We begin to feel more fatigued, moody and tend to have less energy during the second half of our cycle until menstruation.

Perimenopause and Antidepressants

Many women are treated with antidepressants (SSRIs) to help raise their serotonin levels. While I think in some circumstances antidepressants are warranted, I do think they are extremely over prescribed, especially to women who are entering perimenopause and experiencing mood changes due to hormonal shifts. Rather than taking medications as a first line, why not explore and address the root cause?

More times than not Doctors are prescribing antidepressants without truly understanding what is going on in the body to create these symptoms. I am not anti-medication. I repeat: I am not anti-medication. I understand that depression must be taken seriously, and in many cases, antidepressants are warranted. What I am against is ‘quick fix’ and Band-aids, vs truly understanding the root cause of what may be happening within your body to create this imbalance.

The Luteal Phase: Work Through Your SH*T and Finding the Message

During the luteal phase stronger waves of emotion come up. This is the time when the ant hills become mountains. We may experience feelings of doom, darkness, despair, and sadness. You may be brought to tears over what seems like nothing to an outsider, but to you, it feels like a tragedy. We may get very irritable and testy with people. Although throughout my upcoming book I will share several ways to help find balance during this time (including supplement recommendations). I feel the most important thing is to acknowledge the messages coming from these intense feelings. These feelings are there for a reason and we must experience them and feel what the underlying message is.

Perimenopause and Antidepressants: Stop the Happiness Chasing!

Our culture is one that chases happy and gets very uncomfortable with feeling any form of discomfort. We see sadness as a bad, or ‘wrong-feeling.’ However, ‘sad’ is just as imperative an emotion to feel, even if it’s unpleasant. Our hormones are sweet little messengers telling us big things, and we need to stop pushing away and resisting. Our solemn, our cries, our intense emotions are needed in this world now more than ever. In her recent TED talk, Susan David discusses the ‘positivity’ movement and describes positivity as a new form of moral correctness. We begin seeing people who are not happy, as being wrong. Susan David suggests this is creating a “tyranny of positivity” and I couldn’t agree more. If we continue to bypass important feelings for the pursuit of happiness, we will be left with deeper sadness. Both emotions are of equal importance, even if one is more difficult.

We have these emotional cycles for a reason, and these seemingly small things come up because these are things in our life we need to address. As we age, messages get louder. How many years have you been stifling hurt? What is the underlying message? Is there something that needs to be worked through in your life or with your partner? This is not a time to write off your mood as ‘just PMS.’ It’s a time to sit quietly and feel what comes up, so you can get to the bottom of it, and begin to release the hurt.

Honor Your Moods, Honor Your Feelings and Respect Your Needs

Have that releasing cry. Have that important talk with your spouse or significant other. Talk with the people in your life about the things that are coming up, and things that are upsetting you. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, nothing is off limits. Open and honest communication will help release any “stuck” areas in your life and lead to deeper, more meaningful connections. Let those emotions roll as they need to roll and try to let go of any shame you’ve attached to it. It’s a time to honor yourself. Honor your feelings. Respect your needs. Say no. Give yourself space. Give yourself permission to feel and express as loudly as you need to. The luteal phase is the time for working through our sh*t! It’s a time for going deep and learning about ourselves and our personal needs. It’s necessary. Feel the feels. Work through the hard stuff. Don’t write yourself off any longer. Stop stifling, hiding and pushing away these important emotions. You are important and worthy.


Coming Soon: Forties on Fire!


This is an excerpt from my upcoming book to be released Feb 2019: Forties on Fire! In my book, we explore many different ways to find balance through the (often turbulent) perimenopausal years.

1 Comment

  • Reply
    February 23, 2019 at 8:15 am

    Great post! That’s awesome you found something that works wonderfully for you! This was a great post, and I enjoyed the idea of dividing my daily tasks into even smaller tasks. I will try to implement some of this stuff and see how it goes. thank you so much.

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